Get Off the Gerbil Wheel of Self Loathing

Are you anything like me?: A mistake gets made. You got drunk and said things you really wished you hadn't. Or you summoned all your courage and spoke something out loud and it totally blew up in your face. Or it's the Terrible Thing From Your Past. You just keep thinking about it, even though the moment is long gone and nobody even cares anymore. Running, running on an endless gerbil wheel of self-loathing.

So. What are you trying to accomplish? Is it working? Did you make The Thing any better? Sometimes, realizing we haven't changed anything only makes matters worse. We feel even STUPIDER. (Running, running, running. Keep those gerbils running...)

STOP. Look over here, and jump off.

Every minute you spend with your mistakes, no matter what they are, you are breathing life and energy into them. You are donating airtime, primetime ads, full press coverage. You are funding their legitimacy and vigor...for what?

Sit for a moment and think: What are you getting out of this? Do you think that if you do this for long enough, they will not have happened? Or the debt will get paid off? It won't. The only thing that happens is you give them a long life. You set them up in a cushy old folks home, and highly paid nurses and doctors keep them alive.

So instead of being in the past, they live on forever.

And don't think this happens only in your head. It happens in your energy, in your day, and people can tell. They don't know they can tell, but they can. Especially the people you hurt. They've often gotten over it, but because you insist on feeling terrible, you keep yanking them back to That Time...and on an energetic level, hurting them all over again.

So stop it. A) It's not working, and B) It's bringing other people down.

Come back to the present.

Each time you catch yourself in shame, it's good news! Ego is losing, so it tried a better trick to get you to fall for an illusion. This is a beloved mindfulness bell, calling you to your higher, spacious Self. And that higher Self, each time, will shimmer you immediately into the present moment. Here's what you do: Breathe, feel your feet, maybe even describe out loud what you're looking at, if that's what it takes. Even if you're beating yourself up for having fallen for the latest illusion, find your way back to the Now. Breathe, feel your feet, and look around at what's in front of you.

Return and return to the present moment, without trying to do anything about what came before.

No matter what kind of holocaust lives on that gerbil wheel, you can jump off, and...




Namaste, my friends.