Play vs Record

Most of us go through life playing the same tape over and over. We experience our days as though they're new, and our difficulties as thought they're personally aimed at us. But guess what? None of it is real because, out of habit, we hit "Play" instead of "Record." So we just got a regurgitated version of a story from the past.

"No, Tina. This here? This is actually happening to me! You don't get it!" Ah, but I do. I get it because I know this feeling. I fall for it all the time.

I will be minding my own business, when something "happens." It's out there, and it has happened to Me. In reality, it's only a story I'm telling myself, complete with what I believe that story means. Then, all that belief connects to deep library of other stories from before. Now I gotta cross-reference and file everything, and doing that only solidifies everything. Eventually, story and belief become Irrefutable Fact.

If I stop and breathe--get in touch with my body and how my feet feel on the ground, and if I just start noticing what is actually happening in reality, usually I begin noticing things, without judging them. Words are being said (or not said) by people who are either moving, standing, sitting, or lying down. Or there is an object somewhere, and it's behaving according to the laws of gravity. There are certain colors visible to me, certain sounds. They are either loud or soft, sharp or fuzzy. When I let myself get very descriptive and specific, the world becomes a symphony of sights, sounds, tastes, feelings, events--and nothing is happening to me anymore, it's happening for me.

And everything opens wide, onto this incredibly spacious friendly place, and am filled with curiosity and tenderness. And I pay very careful attention.

Now, I'm recording.