In my history of church going experiences (Christian Science, Episcopal, Catholic, Methodist, Mormon, among others), I have always had a pretty tenuous relationship with the material being presented—but even more difficulty with the music. I always wondered why the music had to be so blocky and boring and square and lifeless. And I’m not saying that it IS that way, just that it is that way for me.
I’ve always dealt with this by slogging through it in the moment and trying to forget the experience as quickly as possible. But a couple months ago, I bought a harmonium—a result of years of yoga practice and one too many kirtans. And gradually, I felt the question form from within me: What would it sound like if I wrote a hymn that speaks to me, both musically and conceptually. And this is what came out.
It should be noted that I’m not a goddess worshipper, or even a God worshipper. But they are both noble placeholders for That Which Is Greater Than Me. The source. The inexplicable There-Aren’t-Words-For-It which holds us in our tidal existence (coming in, going out).
Hope you enjoy it.
p.s. Secretly, I see this as the soundtrack against the credits of some great, thought-provoking, heart-opening movie. It makes me smile to imagine this. I’m awake enough now to hold this image as a lovely idea in the present moment, instead of a tight, hope-filled, disappointment-ridden desire, or a hard goal, both of which live in the nonexistent future. Life is so much bigger than us, and so fluid. Home is everything and everywhere and right now. May we all find our way.